What is this that I'm in ?

I'm in something but I'm not quite sure what it is. I know love is involved, I think some people call it a relationship. I thought I knew the definition of that, I guess I was wrong but now I know that what I am in is not a relationship. What ever it is, it's toxic to my health and Im screaming let me out but my emotions cant bear the pain so I stay. Im losing sleep at night. Im having nightmares I shouldn't feel miserable, how can one person have such an effect on you that’s making you literally sick inside. I don’t feel connected. I feel that we are on two different levels, better yet two different worlds. Faith and now trust is no longer there anymore. Time is being wasted, and I wont wait around forever for change. I know someone else who just want to experience love will love to take my place. At this point I'm just disgusted and fed up with the behavior. Isn't it amazing how you can tell someone something for so many years that can improve the relationship your in, and yet they just don't get it . . . don't get it don't get it.

Book of Revelations

What amazes me is how so much tragedy is right around us and people still don't have it together thinking that they still have all the time in the world, like the world is going to wait so they can do things on their timing. Reality check it doesn't work that way, you cant live day by day and just going with the flow of things with no purpose. Hopefully it's not to late when u realize all the years you wasted just going with the flow of things. Get your house in order before its too late, don't let a confuse mind keep you behind.

Stop trying to be "The Man" and learn how to be "A Man"

It's crazy how well you may think you know your “significant other” but in reality you don't know a damn thing about that person. Apparently, it seems you can date or be married to someone for several years and still don't know who the true “them” is, but yet you give your all to make sure they know who the true “you” is.  And if you ask me, I just think that's more then crazy; its scary. So what do when you do when you are in a situation like this? Do you confront the person and tell them you know what they been hiding from you and make them aware of all the lies they told too but never though you knew? Or do you just continue to act clueless to who they really are?  This is something that goes on in many relationships. This is why relationships are being affected, situations like this one. I'm speaking to all the people who are silent. Don't remain silent anymore speak up and if you are in this situation then you need to stop accepting excuses from yourselves, it's time to take control over your life. Gandhi once said, “ you may never know what results come of your actions, but if you do nothing, there will be result”. So speak up. Other reason why relationship are harder now is because conversations became texting, "arguments became phone calls, and feelings became subliminal messages online. Sex is just to easy to get, and the word love is being used out of context, insecurities have became our new way of thinking, jealously is now a habit, trust has been lost long ago, cheating became an accident that is now accepted because you still think you have a good man and keep saying to yourself that he made a mistakes, and now being hurt became natural” lets get our standards in order. Lets actually have a normal relationships and stop settling for a dyfuncational one.  Time is being wasted, and life is way to precious to be spending your life with someone you love but don’t know. Whats so wrong with getting to know the person your in love with, and whats so wrong with sharing your life stories with the love of your life.  

What happen at the childhood age of developmental adjustment that roots us to be dysfunctional in a relationship?

Over the years people relationship grows and get stronger.  Unfortunately many people can’t say the same.  Some view their relationships from the heart and not the mind.  Which results in many people having a visual disadvantage. Although you love them, many things or situations will sometimes reduce your interest in regards to your relationship. Lets use communication for an example.  You must know that the most important function in a relationship is communication.  Without it the relationship is dead which explains the interest level. I think we all can agree that; that type of relationship is on the boarder of being defined dysfunctional. And it is sad that people are having the unfortunate opportunity to experience a relationship of that magnitude.  Therefore, you should refuse to rewind and playback it script, if that once happen to you in the past, it will only get worse if you do not take control of the situation. You should ask yourself over and over, do I really see a future with that person, but do not let the answer remain void, and many should know that settling is not an option.   

You need to always examine yourself and your relationship and continue to ask yourself question like -do we have the same interest, hopes and dreams in regards to our future.  Are your dreams my dreams?  Do you really see me as your wife/or husband with children in the future? Many partners always say “yes we are going to get married and have children in the future”, but sometimes you have to look deep within the person and make sure they not telling you stories to just pacify you. I don’t want you to remain floating endless on that boat with many endless waves without dissipating into the sea.  I always hear people say "I was this way when we meet” but usually people make a sacrifice for things they want in life.  And, yes you should accept who that person is as it relates to their soul. But no relationship should every feel one sided. Every relationship need to share some interest, likes and dislikes, wants and desires.

 My favorite saying is " a wise man will hear and increase learning and a man of understanding shall attain wise counsel".  We need to be honest with one another. There is no such thing, as going with the flow, please don’t fall into that ridiculous excuse. HELLO, you guys are not back in middle school. Even a ten year old has a plan, when they save their money to make purchases in regards to a toy, or perhaps a video game.  Planning is everything so that you can see your results. Know that God has better and bigger plans for you in life, so if you don't see them in your future, maybe it's time for you to put them in your past.

PLEASE DON'T SETTLE, don’t be the person who feels so much and don't say a word, but screaming inside and can't be heard. Remember no relationship is a waste of time; it's a learning process of what you like and what you don’t. There’s a big difference between: Who we love, who we settle for and who we're meant for, therefore never plan a future with someone that has no future plans for themselves"

How you may think the topic at church is just for you

The truth shall set you free. Once I heard those words . I knew he was talking to me.
Tears began to fall down my eyes, everyone looks around asking each other why must she cry.
I didn’t know if it was happiness or sadness, but all I could think of was chaos and madness.
This is not no pity party for myself, I am just trying to figure out my self wealth.
I accepted myself as a unique creation from our heavenly father, but there is always the ones that don’t even notice you, they don’t even bother.
Then you second guess your standards, staring searching for questions and answers.
Then it goes back to that quote that running in your mind, the quote you know will change your life cause you are running out of time.
Once again that quote, the truth shall set you free, but I must question why must he look at me.
Do he know about the things I tell myself in the mirror each day, or know about the fear in my eyes when I don’t know what to say.
I wondered did he know about pain in my heart. He must know something, or why ever did he start.

Growing Physically vs Growing Mentally

Can someone help me understand why many adults  are lacking maturity, developmental progress and commitment.  Some think once they reach a certain age in life that they are already mature and developed. Sadly, many of us grow older but never grow up. 
Its like they're stuck in perpetual infancy, still weening from there mothers nipple. I believe the reason is because they never intended to grow. You must want to grow, decide to grow, make an effort to grow, and persist in growing" it always begins with a decision . Physical Growth is automatic, but not maturity,  it takes an intentional commitment to be an adult. Commitments can develop you or they destroy  you, but either way, they will define you. If you are wondering why your not mature, developed and committed, rethink the decisions you are making in life. Hopefully, millions can stop  wanting to drift through life like that's the best way go. Because if you made a commitment you would actually have to mature, develop and  think like an adult for once.